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Jax Malloy, RyanMoralejo
How Freedom the Bald Eagle Saved the Day
How Freedom the Bald Eagle Saved the Day
Jax Malloy, RyanMoralejo
O
nce upon a time, there was a group of bald eagles living together.
They lived in Bald Eagle Land, and everything was perfect. There was
plenty of space, an ample supply of food and water, and most importantly,
no foreign animals. The Bald Eagles liked to keep to themselves because
they knew that they were the superior predator bird and they were
virtually untouchable. Not only could they fly higher than every other
species, but they were stronger, better hunters, and much smarter. Things
began to change, however, when the pandas started popping up. At first,
the Bald Eagles were tolerant of the foreigners because they resided in
small numbers too minuscule to affect the living conditions. The Pandas
were useful in a lot of ways and most of the Eagles benefited from their
sudden invasion. The Pandas were strong and could do jobs like tidying
and pruning that Eagles could not, but some Eagles were worried that they
were becoming too dependent on the Pandas.
But then more and more pandas appeared. And, all of a sudden, there
were llamas, chinchillas, Cuban tree frogs, Asian beetles, pythons, African
bees, andmore. It was getting out of control and soon the Eagles started to
protest the immigration of the foreign animals. The land was still thriving
as always because it was the best in the world, but this enticed other
animals to come to their land.
Every month or so, the Eagles held a private meeting to discuss the dire
situation their species was facing. A majority of the Eagles were in favor
of halting the immigration of foreign animals. There were problems that
could not be ignored, such as the communication barrier between different
species. This posed a real threat because with a dozen or so species, things
felt chaotic. “We are the superior species on Earth,” one Eagle announced.
“They [the other animals] don’t want us at the top. They don’t want us to
continue thriving so they’ll seek to exploit our weaknesses anytime they
see fit to do so.” Another eagle suggested to build a monstrous wall to
surround their property. A few nodded in agreement, and Freedom, a very
boisterous eagle, added the only real solutionwas to kick themall out. This
did not sit well for one particular eagle named Justice. Justice and Freedom
engaged in a heated exchange over this topic.
Freedom spoke first. “We have to make a whole new set of standards. And
when animals come in, other animals want to come in—"
“You're going to split up families,” Justice interrupted. “You're going to
deport the baby animals?”
“Justice—no, no. No, we're going to keep the families together. We have to
keep the families together.”
“But you're going to kick them out?”
“They have to go.”
“What if they have no place to go?”
“They have to go. Justice, we either have a well-functioning society or we
don't have a well-functioning society.”.
Freedomwent on incessantly about why these other animals had to leave.
For example, he didn’t like the Pandas because they had squinty eyes. The
Cuban Tree Frogs had the most trouble speaking the language of the Bald
Eagles, and most of them did not want to learn another language. The
chinchillas smelled really bad and their foodmade the other animals fart a
lot. The African bees were so striped that the bald eagles thought they had
all gotten a disease.
Any eagle with a slight amount of intelligence knew that Freedom was
uttering complete nonsense and that there was no way his proposals
would be allowed. However, an astounding number of eagles who were
absolutely incompetent sided with Freedom; the more and more he
preached about his insane diabolical plans, the more support he received.
When it came time to elect a new leader of the Bald Eagles (as they did
every 2 years), Freedom received an astronomical amount of votes. People
started sporting his haircut (a sort of toupée style), and cheered his name
everywhere he went.
Freedom went straight to work, ordering all the other animals to build a
colossal wall to enclose Bald Eagle Land. It was one thousand feet tall
and gutted the environment outside of Bald Eagle Land. Once the wall
was completed, Freedom kicked all the other animals out. Everyone lived
happily ever after; well, except for all the other animals, but who gives a
damn about them?